THIS IS A CONTEST for the weirdest mention of Shakespeare. The grand prize is an inscribed copy of Chasing Shakespeares, certificate, and suitable weird handmade object. Entries will be judged on a combination of humor, unbelievability, and ineffable quality of je-ne-sais-pourquoi. The contest runs through December 15, 2003.

Submit entries by emailing me. Entries can be Web sites, photos or scans of objects, or material you've developed yourself. Commercial material must come with a link to the copyright owner. No outright porn, please.

Decision of the judges is final, but you can vote for your favorite here.

• The eternal Juliet 
• A scary Shakespeare bust--one of many to be found on the Internet. 
• Literary jewelry inspired by Shakespeare and other writers. I particularly like the Braille one.
• Shakespeare collectibles  There's that bust again. And lots, lots more.
• Shakestea
• Zortz bust of Shakespeare. It opens its mouth and eats your words.
• Pot Belly Shakespeare
• Shakespeare in translation
• Drink up your Shakespeare
• Hamlet in the comics
• Elizabethan Curse Generator
• Baby Shakespeare Hello, Kitty. Hello, Willy.
• You are standing in a maze of twisty little neuroses, all alike. The Hamlet Game by Robin Johnson (submitted by Steven Aucella)
• Star Wars Scottish play
• ...and Scottish play in Basic (thanks to Marcia Talley and Katherine Neville)
• Who ever loved, that loved not fudge at first sight. Out of curiosity, I typed "chocolate Shakespeare" into Google and got 77,000 hits. This was not the weirdest.
• Fully frontal nude candy: Romeo and Juliet as played by marshmallow Easter chicks (submitted by Sue Buchman)
• ...and Hamlet played by a frog: Derek Flood's Das Werk (The Audition) (submitted by Odelia Bruce Kuhne)
• 100monkeys.org is dedicated to sock monkeys typing Shakespeare. Don't miss Tony Millionaire's illo of the Shakespeare sock monkey. (Click on TM's name to go to his Web site, which features pirate sock monkeys; but we aren't going there, are we?. -- Submitted by Odelia Bruce Kuhne)
• And, linked to the very same site, check out the William Shakespeare Action Figure, with removable quill pen and book. The pen is mightier than the light saber. (Thanks, Martha Hart)
• L33t Romeo and Juliet and L33t Hamlet - Chris Coutts' tales from the Bard. Highly offensive in every possible way. Enjoy.
• Titus Andronicus limericks. 'Tamora and Tamora and Tamora/Creeps in this petty pace from day to day...'
• The sponsors of the aforesaid limerick contest, Poor Yoricks Shakespeare Catalogue, draw our attention to The Magic Christian (1969; dir. Joseph McGrath). To quote from their catalogue, "Includes scenes from a tangential, but extremely avant-garde production of Hamlet, which culminates in a strip-tease version of 'To be or not to be.'" With Peter Sellers, Ringo Starr, Raquel Welch, Christopher Lee, Richard Attenborough, and Roman Polanski. What's not to like?
• Shoky Poky (from Allison, Shariann, Tina, Ellen Kushner, and Kate Flora, who actually knew who the author was)
  
• Shakespeare Celebriduck (from Andi Schechter, Christopher, Bob [what is it with guys and rubber thingies?])
• Toilets and Cressida
• An ad from the wonderful Grub Street Writers
• Shakespeare Eclectic Science Fiction Interactive Theater
• Richard Nathan's Shakespeare parodies
• "When is the winter of our discontent? Now is the winter of our discontent!" Transvestism, toilet paper, and midnight performances of Richard III turn intoThe Rocky Horror Richard Show from Jasper Fforde's The Eyre Affair (submitted by Andi, Christopher, Luke...)
• Millishakespeares as measurement of poetic disability (from Cecil Adams' column on "Stairway to Heaven" in The Straight Dope)
• A few of the weirder Shakespeare images on the Web
• Shamster Dance. Ta-da-dee-dee-dee-dee-do-do.

Send me email and include a picture or URL of your favorite Shakesweird--there's a prize for the best one.